Yes, I have been quiet on Facebook. I have gotten several texts and messages asking why. And, well, there are a few reasons. I will explain.
I recently went to dinner with some old friends and someone commented "Mon, I know we have not seen you in a while, but we all feel so connected to you because of your Facebook posts." That started my brain thinking... I have no idea if people are seeing these things if they don't acknowledge it or like it.
Later, at another get together, there was an entire conversation about my Facebook statuses and pictures I posted. Keep in mind, none of these people "liked" them or commented on any of them. I forget that the world is watching sometimes, but it is not so much that I minded that they did, but more that their impression of me is from Facebook.
I am not my Facebook.
If I was my Facebook, I would be riding a unicorn in to a galaxy far far away with a light saber and a backpack full of coffee, wine, whiskey, and vodka. I am NONE of those things. YES, I like them, but they do not define me.
I also refrain from posting things that are too personal. My Facebook status does not mean that is what I am. My relationships with friends, family and my love life is private. Because I do not display in a status who or what I am, it does not give the rest of the world the right to cross boundaries or be filthy. I have tamed things down substantially and I do not appreciate people making assumptions one way or another based on my Facebook. But ya know what? That is what Facebook is, now isn't it? An opportunity to give your opinion on what others put out there, so shame on me for being naive.
I guess what I am saying is, I miss the people. I miss human interaction with my friends. I miss people knowing ME. And I missing knowing THEM. I have used Facebook as a means of communication, and in some cases, that is good, but in a lot of cases, it is bad...very bad. It gives the wrong impression. And despite what my "status" says, I DO care, very much, in most cases. I WANT to know how my friends are and the impression they have of me from Facebook is not ME.
So, I thought I had better find balance.
Friends, Facebook is not real. If you want to know me, text me or hang out with me. I am certain you will find that most nights I am running to swim or hockey or youth group. You will know things that matter to me are far from what you read on Facebook. And I want to know how YOU are. I want to know... and not from Facebook. I want to know about your job, your life, your joys, your sorrows, etc. I don't want to make assumptions. I don't want you to make them either. I promise to make a better effort, I promise to reach out more.
I hope you do the same.
I love you - -the real you :-)
ReplyDeleteI love you for being the person I've known for 20+ years. I don't care about anything else. You are you, all levels of awesome.
ReplyDeletexo
It's tough, finding the balance between being truthful/authentic and open/exposed. FB is for updates on others; Twitter is about my state-of-mind; my Blog burrows deeper into things, but only if you read it carefully. Most people don't.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to know if people really care, sometimes, if you've never actually met or talked. I wouldn't say FB isn't Real. It is to some. But it's also illusory, deceptive.
Connection is a two-way street. And sometimes, the first one to put themselves out there risks a lot, because they don't know what the response will be. People only have so much bandwidth, and Real Life usually intrudes.
I won't claim to know the real you. But I've always enjoyed and respected the You that you've chosen to share. And for that You, I'm thankful. Maybe that's all one can hope for sometimes.