Christmas Letter

Dear friends and family,

2011 has been like most years, life happened & time flew by. I would really be quite the narcissist if I believed you wanted all the gory details.

My children have grown & I am very proud of the young men they are turning in to.

Lots of people got married or had a baby, I did neither (yea me). Lots of people had accomplishments & successes, again, I did neither (yea them).

I pretty much maintained. I aged, gained some weight, increased my alcohol tolerance, & got a few haircuts.

I admitted I am terrified of cotton balls & discovered coconut really doesn't go with anything and it is not yummy.

I chipped my tooth on a fork, and stained it with copious amounts of coffee. I bought a new pair of pants for myself & grew too fat for them in record time.

I trained for the Warrior Dash, which I completed in a decent time... Then quickly retreated from the gym & lost all motivation to ever do any form of running again...unless it is to the fridge to grab a beer.

I also did a flashmob that I choreographed, which was incredible. Then the moment it was over, it was like it never existed & I was exhausted.

A few days later I turned 33 and my oldest went in to high school. He discovered weed & choices. I discovered more beer and wine.

I quit smoking, started again, quit again, started and then quit... That was a few Tuesdays ago tho.

I got a cat, his name is Seven. Mostly, I can't stand him, but for some reason I take pictures of him and post them on Facebook. That's what you're supposed to do, right? He makes me furious, but occasionally he is sweet and he makes me laugh. So, who needs a man, right?

My ex successfully reached new all time lows... So he can be proud of his new record. He still has not sent me all the thank you cards I deserve for not killing him. But I know in my heart he is grateful.

I started a Twitter account, gained nearly 4200 followers, then had to give it up cause some people thought it may be mildly inappropriate. I personally feel coming up with ways to more effectively masturbate and wishing death upon Ryan Seacrest is incredibly helpful... I thought I deserved a humanitarian award quite frankly.

I lost a bunch of money, worked really hard and made it work. So while my 2011 was rather meh on paper, I'm sitting here in a house, I have a job & my boys & I are as tight as we have ever been. I am happy being Meh.

Meh-rry Christmas!

Bring it 2012.