The Great Divide

I gift you my truth - you take it back for return.

You don't hear my heart- you just wait for your turn.

I offer my story like a coat I can share,  

But my silence is far more comfortable to wear. 

I long for when my mouth shut tight like a lid 

And your brows were not crossed when our paths did. 

Your stare I can't climb, you've left me no choice

But to cry up a sea & Ursula steal my voice. 

When will we hear with our light and not our replies? 

When will we finally see each other with more than our eyes? 

Our differences are the free tuition to humanity.

When will we learn and love and seek to understand and see? 

When will we bring a meal or provide shelter from rain. 

We're prescribed pride and fear... as needed for pain. 

So lock your minds and your hearts and your cars and your door, 

While I scream from the other side and beg for something more. 

10/23/16

This is not about politics

This post isn’t political –this post is about something more important – humanity.

Has anyone taken a moment to step back and look at the way we are treating each other? I find it ever so interesting the way that rally together for sports like the Olympics or the Ryder cup – but yet when it comes to humanity, we are at arms. When it comes to social justice and equality we somehow are lacking compassion. When it comes to taking care of our neighbors- we retaliate in defense.  Why?

I have seen this country instinctually act on compassion as caring human beings - I have seen it in everyone I know. EVERY one I know. I can look at someone I disagree with politically and give examples of how they have demonstrated love and care.  

We have 2 political parties – and 324 million people in the USA?  As we continue to grow – we gain more and more culture and more and more experiences. Each person bring to the table their own stories and experiences which prompts their beliefs systems.  By suggesting their belief systems are wrong, it belittles and diminishes their experiences. Eventually,  those two opposite experiences and stories collide – which I believe is where we are now… on so many levels. But the only answer is to listen. 

It has to be.  Do you think that by out screaming and out proving your point that someone will have an epiphany? They will not – they will become even more defensive and latch on to their opinion and close their mind even further in order to protect their story.  What is happening here is self-preservation.

I can tell you from experience – that this past week with the tapes of Mr. Trump which triggered me. The rage that ignited in me when I heard “grab em by the p**sy” was instant and still burns. 

It burns for the time I was 6 and my babysitter insisted I touch his dick. For the time the gardener forced me in to the fence and grabbed me also by the p**sy. And when my cousin cut off my pubic hair and taped it to his wall and said he had SEEN more p*sy than I had seen sky – and for the years to follow where he TOO grabbed me by the p**sy. It burned throughout the times I was homeless at 14 and grown men came in to the abandoned construction site and grabbed me in the p*sy. And the liquor store owner who would give us food and cigarettes while he grabbed us in the p**sy and got himself off. Or when I was asleep and my friends husband took my p**sy or when I blacked out and have no idea what happened to my p**sy.  It burns for those times and the times in between – and when you compare THAT to a FUCKING rap song where a woman CHOOSES to have sex – I burn more.  When you compare that to a book about a woman consenting to aggressive sex – it burns more. When you blame a WOMAN for the actions of a man – as I was blamed in EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY OCCASION I MENTIONED – I WANT TO BURN YOU TO THE FUCKING GROUND. When I realize that I have been raised to believe that my worth is solely in my p**sy, it burns deeper than I can articulate.

So, I will remind you that this is not about me being a Republican or a Liberal – this is about me being a human being.

Please, before you judge ANYONE for their stance NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. Before you bombard them with your point or your grandiose self-righteous opinion – listen.  Do not seek to change someone – seek to understand. THAT is the answer.

This is not about politics – this is about humanity. 

Momming a high schooler

As I am driving him to school – I look over at him and I miss him. 

I think about how cool it would be to be his friend.  

I peeked around last night on his Instagram. His sense of humor, just to confirm  - my kid is a savage.

So much inappropriateness. I typed “SMH” but really I “LOL”ed.

Yesterday I text him about homework.

I text him about his chores and his grades.

I text about his choir concert and his hockey bag and “NO, you cant have a sleepover – it’s Thursday.”

He doesn’t reply – he texts his latest Pokemon to my fiancé tho.

This morning, I denied him my aux chord. “Yes, we both have Colt 45 and no you cannot listen to it.”

Not Lil Uzi or Drake or Joey Purp or Bryson Tiller either. 

I made him a Clean Playlist and he is not interested. 

So we sit there in silence and listen to the traffic.

I pull up to his favorite spot to get dropped and tell him I love him. He just says “bye” and gets out.

I turn my head, grit my teeth and wait for the door to slam.

Just then...he pops his head back in and smiles “I love you too mom, see you tonight”.

I smile and exhale and drive away.